I have to share this story, and hopefully no one from my group reads it – if they do I hope they take it with the same sense of humor that I approached the subject from.
Last night I decided to join a random pick up group that was headed to Anchor of Bazzul. I don’t typically join these groups, I have a steady bunch of friends who play and I prefer to play with them. Nothing against pugs really, I just know my guild mates play styles. From time to time no one is around, or I want to meet some new people. I sent a tell when I saw the group advertising for Anchor and was on my way to Moors in no time.
They (the group leader) requested that everyone join group voice – something I am also typically opposed to, especially for such an easy zone. The tank ended up being Ultann from my own guild though I didn’t know that before hand. The group set out and as we zoned into AoB I heard the conversation change slightly.
Three group members (all male) were discussing roleplayers, and how they had nothing but horrible experiences with these people. They were talking about roleplayers as a whole, and had nothing at all good to say. Their comments were amusing to me (being quite an avid roleplayer) and so after a few minutes I spoke up, and said mid conversation, “you know, not all roleplayers act that way.”
*** Edit ***
Ah, I forgot to mention one key point –
I was not the only one defending the roleplayers, one of the three was also mentioning how he enjoyed roleplay, which is why I took the rout of “why did the conversation suddenly stop” – two were going on about how horrid their experiences were, and one was saying he liked to roleplay but found it difficult etc. *goes to edit* too much stuff going on today to get all my opinions out in text!
So in other words – if they were not afraid of offending the one guy who claimed he was a roleplayer and enjoyed it – why would they be afraid of offending me.
It was all I said. The conversation stopped dead in its tracks, no one said a word. I wondered if I had offended someone. Dead air for a few minutes while the awkward silence carried on.
Then someone said, “that must have been Ellithia, right? Because it was just three males talking and then all of the sudden this hot female voice spoke up,” – he sounded surprised that an actual real live girl spoke up in voice chat.
I laughed, and said yes it was me, though I then joked around saying it was Ultann and he was simply roleplaying. The subject was completely dropped and no one spoke about the roleplay issue again which sort of disappointed me because I’m always eager for a good debate. I hate when people generalize ALL gamers into one category, and it’s a good discussion.
I couldn’t help but wonder what I had said that had pursued them to drop the topic. Was it the fact that I disagreed with them or the fact that I had breasts? Maybe a combination of the two? Whatever it was the topic did a complete 180 and moved on to other things.
It was one of the most amusing groups I had ever been a part of, and the first time I had evoked that sort of reaction simply by talking into voice chat. I’m sure they’ve been in groups with female gamers before, and I’m sure they’ve spoken to them before too but for some reason they decided right then and there that the conversation should stop. Maybe it was because I was the only healer and they were afraid I’d throw some sort of fit and stop healing them, I have no idea, or maybe they were worried their opinions would offend my delicate mind (hah!) but it made me chuckle none the less.
Maybe I need to get a voice modulator so I can pretend to be a guy and have some worthy discussions in voice, hehe.
Now I’m curious to hear Stargrace’s voice! LOL
Salut la Quebecoise? (I’m French, I just don’t usually bother telling people because it confuses them even further. :D)
@Ysharros I think that was probably part of the surprise in my group as well, I have an accent (French Canadian) who knew.
Amusing to say the least.
@Lader I could have said something cogent, having experienced this myself, especially since coming to the States where not only do I have a female voice, I have a female voice with an English — oh wait, British ;) — accent. I guess neither of those is commonly heard in MMO voice channels. But Stargrace & Ang pretty much said what I would have. It’s puzzling and mildly amusing to be seen as so alien in some circles.
+1 for ysharros!!!
Don’t bother your pretty little head with it — you probably wouldn’t understand.
/flees, cackling
Ah, thanks for the additional info.
What will be interesting now is how many Friend Lists you get added to, and how often you get invites to group with them again.
I’ve gotten the same reactions from people — not just in-game, but on game forums as well. Because my handle in most of those places is the gender-neutral “Seagoat,” and apparently I have a fairly gender-neutral “vibe,” people always assume I’m male who plays female characters. Their tone changes when I say, “Um, NOT a guy” — and usually for the better. Harsh language gets toned down, I get apologies for things people said that I may have taken offense at…I suppose chivalry isn’t *entirely* dead, LOL. I always get a laugh out of all the backpedaling. :)
At first I thought I had miss-heard them, so I asked Ultann in guild (Did they SERIOUSLY just say that to me in group?) which was confirmed, they did indeed say “hot female voice” – and I burst out laughing. Hard.
I game with plenty of other female gamers, and I’ve never suddenly gasped and had an awkward silence when a male joined the conversation. It’s just.. weird.
Sounds to me like they were surprised by the fact that there was a woman in the group. Their comment “that must have been Ellithia, right? Because it was just three males talking and then all of the sudden this hot female voice spoke up” contains no allusion to the ongoing topic — they could have been talking about movies, fishing or rash cream for all we can derive from it. That they were continuing the diatribe with a dissenting MALE participant, and opened with the above comment after you jumped in, and after the period of silence, tells me that you spooked em REAL GOOD :D
I think Pete was closer to the truth in his “Twilight” example, though. Judging by their “choice of words”, they seemed to have a very narrow view of gender (you ceased being your avatar, and were now a “hot female voice”). Perhaps they figured that women are more apt to defend RP, which they apparently view as a “soft” play style…maybe they thought you’d /ragequit, and they’d lose their party member? :D
Would have been priceless to see the looks on their faces, though. Reason # 6,243,235 why I personally detest PUGs :D
Ah, I forgot to mention one key point –
I was not the only one defending the roleplayers, one of the three was also mentioning how he enjoyed roleplay, which is why I took the rout of “why did the conversation suddenly stop” – two were going on about how horrid their experiences were, and one was saying he liked to roleplay but found it difficult etc. *goes to edit* too much stuff going on today to get all my opinions out in text!
So in other words – if they were not afraid of offending the one guy who claimed he was a roleplayer and enjoyed it – why would they be afraid of offending me.
I’ll play defense for them and suppose maybe they just didn’t want to offend you-the-roleplayer (as opposed to you-the-woman)? Think about if you were talking with a friend about Twilight and how emo all Twilight fans were and how much they bugged you, then someone in you group said “I like Twilight.” You realize you’ve just accused that person of being emo and bugging you, so you might opt to drop the topic.
Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit and they were all focused on trying to summon the courage to ask you out! :)
It’s funny, I’ve been playing MMO for a *long* time and I’ve always been in guilds and groups with women. Maybe it just has something to do with the type of guild I’m drawn to? I dunno. But I find it surprising when some people are surprised that a player is female.