Zorgin’s Guide to Being a Nuisance Volume 1 – by Zorgin
This is a comprehensive list of brief tips to being an absolute pain in everyone’s ass.
#1~ Teach your friend’s children to curse.
#2~ if you know someone who wears full plate, get a high-powered magnet. Let hilarity ensue.
#3~ Paint “Ridin’ Dirty” on the side of their mount.
#4~ Say a friend’s name sensually over and over again through Guild Communications.
#5~ Shout, “Party at ~Soandso’s~ house!” Insist the party take place. Do not clean up afterwards.
#6~ Fill their home with random pets. Make sure they all have eaten beans beforehand.
#7~ Eat all their food. Insist they were sleepwalking and did it themselves.
#8~ Talk like a Ratonga for no reason. If you are a Ratonga, resist your lisp and speak like a scholar for a day. When questioned, revert back immediately and barrage them with insults.
#9~ Spend the day walking on your hands. When questioned, slap them.
#10~ Fill your friend’s adventuring flask with Laxatives.
#11~ Line your friend’s armor with itching powder. Insist pixies are responsible.
#12~ Matter of fact, insist pixies are responsible for -everything-.
#13~ end every sentence with the word “Penguin”.
#14~ Insist you teach everyone the Harpy language, Screechsong.
#15~ Shove people off of Kelethin.
#16~ Shove people into the pits of Neriak.
#17~ Shove people into the Executioner’s Pit in Freeport.
#18~ Shove people into the Qeynos Moat.
#19~ Shove people off the top platform of Gorowyn. Help them back up by telling them to use every wrong lift.
#20~ Try to speak Tik-Tok.
#21~ Go to a public gathering. When spoken to, shriek “SPIDERS” at the top of your lungs and punch the person speaking to you in the nose.
#22~ Pester your friend while out adventuring to come by your place afterwards for a drink. when you finally get there, announce you’re out of things to drink.
#23~ If you have a ranger friend, remove all the tips from his arrows. Scatter them around his bedroom floor that night, and in the morning, listen for the screams.
#24~ Go to a less-wealthy Guild’s guildhall. Ask them for obscure amenities, and when they tell you they don’t have them, act all haughty and say, “well, OUR guild hall has it…”
#25~ Go to another guild’s hall, shriek at the top of your lungs, then take a portal anywhere. Repeat every day at the same time.