TW for anyone who might be dealing with mental health / weight issues, please remember that my journey is not yours.

I set a goal for myself for this year to get below 200lbs. After two kids and moving to a remote location, weight and health have become an issue for me. My main reasons besides just naturally wanting to be healthier is also because I have multiple sclerosis, and being overall ‘healthy’ means that when I relapse, it might be a bit easier for my body to cope. So far I haven’t found that to be the case, but I have a lot to go, so we’ll see.

Anyway, I started 2021 at 250lbs. Not even my heaviest. I believe in holding myself accountable – and for people who want to hate on me or judge based on weight stuff, big deal. They’re not important. Anyway, I didn’t really get serious about things until April of this year. I had only lost 10lbs, wasn’t doing anything of any note. April 15th, one day after my 40th birthday, I decided to give it an actual go – and my hard work started actually.. working. Who would have thought.

Now it’s almost the end of August, and I’m down to 210lbs. I was hoping to lose a bit more this month but it has been a particularly difficult one as far as mental health goes, and I’m constantly reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s supposed to take time. I’m not really proud of what I’ve accomplished so far, and I still can’t really “see” the weight I’ve lost, but I do plan on keep up with it, and I am absolutely determined to get below 200lbs by Christmas. I know eventually I’ll need to add more exercise, but I’m hoping we’ll be at a new post by then and maybe things will be easier. As it is, right now, being at an isolated post with two young kids is just really hard. I’m doing my best, but I can’t help but wish I could do more than my best. I know that sounds silly but we’re all our own worst critics, after all.

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