Real Life

A Lot More Art

stargrace April 7, 2022 0Comment

In the before times (eg: before I had kids) I used to really love art. Drawing, in specific. I took art all through high school and while I didn’t have any grand ideas of doing it professionally, it was certainly something I really thought I had a knack for (practice, practice, and more practice). Eventually as life progressed I got involved with someone who didn’t share that passion, didn’t encourage or motivate my skills, and while they never actively discouraged my artistic endevours, there simply wasn’t any place for it in my back-then life.

That was around 20 years ago, and my sketch books have gone unused for the better part of those 20 years.

The thing is, it’s part of who I am. I love drawing. I love art. I love landscapes and architecture in specific. I’m not really one for drawing characters or people (I suppose I’m a hermit even in my artwork) but I decided ‘why not’ even though so much time had passed. I’m almost 41, I have two kids, and a loving husband who encourages and motivates me in ways I had never dreamed of. A little over a year ago I started doing digital art as a means to compensate for my multiple sclerosis issues. My hands shake a lot some days, and I have a lot of pain. Digital art gives me some freedoms otherwise not allowed, and without needing so many ‘tools’ I was able to pick it up and put it down much easier.

Last year I completed a total of 50 pieces, almost one a week for the entire year (though that was not my schedule). This year I’d like to at least match that, and perhaps even surpass it. To date, I’ve done 14 pieces. Some large and involved, others just quick studies. I picked up some Udemy courses on digital painting, and I’ve been following along. I’m learning sometimes brushes matter – and sometimes they just don’t. Relying on my own artistic instinct has been incredible. I’m at the stage now where after just a few brush (pencil) strokes I can ‘phase’ into that artistic mindset where time passes and I’m completely unware.

My latest piece took almost 3 hours to complete, and it didn’t feel any longer than the ones that take me twenty. My hands of course know the difference and constantly remind me, but I’m hoping with time and (even more) practice that perhaps that will ease into a comfortable dull ache rather than the blindingly annoying pain I get now. I’m happy with my progress. I’m happy seeing my skills grow. Honestly? I’m just happy.

I do have a deviantART account that is quite ancient and filled with art from my entire lifetime (as it were) so if you’ve got one feel free to friend me there. I’m out of touch with where people are keeping their art these days, so I may shift my activity some place else over time but for now, that’s where I am. I have no goals at the moment to monetize this or to turn it into anything more than what it is – me finally doing something for myself, and working on a skill that gives me great joy. It just feels nice.

2022 Comes in With a Bang

stargrace March 16, 2022 2Comments

Geeze Stargrace, it has been over two months since your last post, what the heck happened?!

Well. First of all, I’m OK. Now, at least. Back in January a bunch of drama happened that caused me to realize that friendships I thought were important actually meant nothing to those involved. I realized that I was working incredibly hard to foster these friendships and cultivate them but that I was in fact very easily forgotten about – which is fine when you expect it, but I actually thought these friendships had value and meaning, so it sent me into a sort of tailspin, emotionally. It hurt. I pulled back from twitter, I stopped blogging, and instead I focused on fostering healthy boundaries and relationships. Once I was done sulking, in any case.

I’m still posted at my isolated post in the North. We were due out in December but things happened beyond our control and we’re still here until around the end of May. We’ll be moving East to Nova Scotia eventually, but being here has been difficult. Add in the pandemic, global issues like the war in the Ukraine, and you have a high stressed Stargrace.

I am still gaming. I actually play World of Warcraft, and I started up a separate twitter account as well as blog depicting my gold making adventures. You can find my twitter account under: @girlgoblin1 and the blog is (gasp) girlgoblin.ca.

I am also still playing Wurm Online and just recently acquired a new deed that I can’t wait to talk about. BDO is still way up there on my games played, too. They’re releasing new content in April that I’m excited about.

I’ve also been reading some awesome books this year, and I am hoping to continue writing about them on my book blog. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m cautious about things. Consider this a return to blogging if nothing more. I don’t expect I’ll be back on twitter any time soon, but there are ways to reach me if required (discord, FB, steam, etc). I am hoping that I get to start streaming once we move to our new location, but since we haven’t even bought a house yet that is all up in the air.

As always, happy gaming, no matter where you find yourself.

Learning Online (So Much Choice)

stargrace January 8, 2022 1Comment

I recently wrote about going back to school but I’ve also been browsing different methods of online learning that are offered these days. I’m a big fan of (of course) using YouTube, and almost everything you could ever possibly want to learn is on there – but sometimes I’d also like something a bit more structured, or I want something where I can see in depth reviews. To that end, I’ve looked into two popular ‘learning’ platforms, Udemy, and Skillshare. Both do almost exactly the same thing, offer ‘classes’ for people that typically have a cost associated with it. With Skillshare it’s subscription based, you can access any of their lessons for a fee ($20 CAD or there abouts) each month. Once your subscription ends, you lose access. In fact I can’t even browse skillshare without an activated subscription which I find really annoying. They do offer 30 days free, but I’ve used mine up.

For Udemy, you purchase each class individually. You own access to that class for as long as you need it, and you can learn at your own pace without keeping an active subscription. The classes are much more expensive – but – they also have frequent sales. One example is the classes I purchased above, they were 85% off, and less than $20 each. I have absolutely no issue paying people for their time when they’re teaching me something but I obviously do prefer to just purchase a class outright so I can constantly use it instead of using a subscription. If one class takes me three months to complete and I’m paying $20 a month, vs. that same class costing $20 outright – well, it’s easy to see why I made the choice to just stick with Udemy.

I love that there are these (and other) options out there. I love that teaching, and learning, is promoted. It doesn’t have to be for everyone, but it’s something I personally like to make use of and I’m just so thankful that technology has allowed for this to happen. Of course there are good classes and bad ones, and free ones and expensive ones, so figuring out WHAT to take and WHERE to take it is always a challenge – do your research. If you’re good at self motivating and creating your own schedules, it’s definitely something I recommend.

You are NEVER too old to learn

stargrace January 6, 2022 0Comment

I recently made the decision to go back to school – at 40. There were a lot of factors that weighed in on this decision but one of them was simply that I love to learn, and I never had the opportunity when I was younger due to the cost. I moved out when I was 16 and paying for a university education was not in the cards. Now that I’m older, some things (financially) are easier, while other things (time) are more difficult.

My kid was diagnosed with autism as well as global developmental delay at age three. His disabilities require care and help for life, and it’s a full time job. Due to our isolated posting I’ve been managing on my own with the help of my husband of course, but eventually we’ll have more resources available to us (I hope). If anything should ever happen to my first responder husband, I want to have skills readily available that I can use to get into the work force and provide for my family. I want to get these skills now, and not be rushed to get them later when I’m going to have more than enough on my plate.

I’m starting off with classes in French, the basics. I already know some basics but it has been years since I was in a classroom situation doing anything official. In Canada French is the official second language. These courses can ladder to a BA with a focus on French, or I can just continue forward taking certificate programs. Or I can decide on a completely different path, and those courses will work towards credits.

At the same time I’ve also picked up a bunch of Udemy classes on sale for some back pocket learning.

These programs don’t offer any certificates but they should still give me some skills (minus the digital painting one, that one is just for me for relaxation hobbies). I just feel better when I’m learning. I like the structure, I like the organization, I enjoy using new notebooks and pens to take notes. Even if I never really focus on anything, I think it’s important to keep pushing forward in that way. I’m not sure if everyone else is the same in that regard, but it’s almost like a bit of self care. Investing in myself. Believing in myself. I wish things could have been different back when I was a kid, but that doesn’t mean I want to just give up on myself. I love my children, and I love taking care of them – but there’s more to me than just that.