stargrace

A farewell, of sorts.

(( Since Silverstep was started on an Rp server, and my account expires tomorrow.. it seemed only fitting.. that she also have an rp ‘ending’ ))

Silverstep glanced around the once lush home, and sighed. How things had changed. The once cheerful fire place was nothing but a collection of soggy logs that refused to ignite. The paintings that had always appeared to dance along the walls now hung coated in a thick layer of dust, uncared for. The dark elf hugged herself as the tears trickled along her cheeks, reminiscing about what once was.

“It does no good to remember,” she scolded herself. “Things change.. you’ve changed.” The melancholy she felt was her own fault, she knew from the start. It was just simply not meant to last. With those she held close to her moving on with their lives, she began to distance herself. Such was the way things worked, or at least that is what she convinced herself of.

Tripping over one of the fir boxes used for selling wares in the main room, she cursed. The sound echoed off of the walls and sounded empty and hollow, not rich and full of emotion as she once felt. Had it only been a few months ago? Time had sunk into an oblivion that simply had no meaning.

“It is better this way…” she whispered. Trying to convince herself that it was true. Upon the counter she left a note, explaining why she was no longer meant for this world. Or any world for that matter. She spoke of love lost and dreams crushed, apologizing to those few people who would be affected by her decision. There were not many, she’d pushed the majority of them away over the years. She blamed no one but herself. In her heart she carried burdens too great and numerous to mention. The sadness that washed over her became unbearable. Melodramatic? Of course. It was how she lived her life, flying from one extreme emotion to the next. It was how nature had molded and formed her, and she would wish no other course for her life.

Glancing at the numerous volumes of old books that surrounded her library, she allowed herself a small smile. Silverstep had worked exceptionally hard at refining her library. It was her pride and joy. Spending countless hours with the literature that had never asked anything of her in return. Her slim hands reached out and brushed against the worn cover of one titled “The Oops Factor”, and she smirked to herself, recalling how she had told everyone that it was most certainly a book about teen pregnancy or some other such ‘mistake’ of life. How fitting that it all end here.

She gathered her skirts and sat on the rug, before the book of the dead that had graced the small ornate table for so many years. The flickering candles that surrounded her made the room seem ghastly instead of warm and welcoming. Her eyes gazed longingly around the room, drinking it all in as she murmured a prayer under her breath to the gods, asking for it not to be a painful end. She begged them to understand there was no other solution, no other way to end her suffering and misery. There were those who would of course argue that it was a cowards way out, but for someone such as she….. it was all there was, plain and simple.

Picking up a small knife from the floor, Silverstep murmured a single name under her breath, and slid the blade across her pale flesh, gasping in incredible pain as her life blood began spilling out across the floor. She bit her lip as the world began to spin black, trying not to cry out and her heart the only sound she could hear echoing through her mind as she slumped to the floor. Her fingers managed to drag through the blood, writing out a single word, before her breathing stopped.

From beyond her, someone crashed through the doorway, praying they were not too late.

“SILVERSTEP NO!” They screamed, and then her world went black.

Venekor and an itch to scratch

I’ve been lacking rp in my life, just in general. Yeah, that is a weird thing to say that one is lacking, but it’s true. I love to role play. I enjoy the creation and thought process, making characters who are based off of me and who I am in real life, or those who are the complete opposite of me and provide a release that one would otherwise be unable to demonstrate. I’ve been taking a break from Eq2 as most know, in fact the 19th is the last day my account is open. In the mean time I’ve toddled back over to WoW for a little, I enjoy certain aspects from both games and playing both on and off over the past year is quite common for me. Anyhow.

WoW is not a very good place to role play. Even on the ‘rp’ specified servers. I don’t expect enforced rp. I hate having to force someone to do that, it just doesn’t seem right. Though I suppose in the end that would be the only way in which I could find what I think I am lacking out of my MMO experience.

So a friend of mine suggested I try Venekor, the rp/pvp server on EQ2. I created a character there just for the fun of it (no my account is not enabled yet) and was turned off right away when on newbie island I came across names such as ‘AAADDDFFFF’ and ‘happyhappy’ and so on and so forth. I played on Lucan D’Lere for quite some time as well, and there is rp there. Unfortunately, it’s not what I would term ‘real’ rp. People say on the forums all the time, rp is what you make it. Don’t just wait for it to fall in your lap. Ok, that’s fine, I understand that. But I attended the organized rp events, which were held (typically) once a week or once every two weeks, and while they were fun little events to go to, in my mind they were not the sort of rp I wanted. They were groups of people who showed up did their thing at the event, and then left, and the next time you saw them they’d have little to no recollection / rp-ness about the event they’d attended. It was as though they were completely different people.

Or there is the sort of rp where you can do nothing but sit and watch / react in some sort of /emote because their story is so wrapped up between them / one other person involved, that there is no room for a 3rd party to enter into it. When on Lucan, I spent most of my ‘rp’ time as a reporter of sorts. I would find stories and people whom I’d never heard of before, and I’d tell their stories. I played the role of a ‘nobody’ because that is what I was to those people. No one noticed me. Everyone was far too preoccupied in their own lives and stories to notice the dark elf wandering around with a note pad. I’ve written on these topics before on past blogs that I’ve subsequently taken down.

I tried to do a google search, for some sort of online role play (fantasy based) campaign. Came across a few issues. Number one, lots of p0rn sites instead of what I was actually looking for. That’s alright, understandable, I can’t seem to type anything into google without at least getting a few typical sex sites. Number two, while there were some fantasy based role play forums out there, where people (DM’s) would create worlds and others would create characters to play in those worlds, the responses or the stories were often forgotten about and dropped sooner then they’d started. Some characters replied to that one particular story, once, and then there were no replies. So it wasn’t very constant or active.

I suppose what I’m looking for role play wise, is an AD&D type. Not specifically those rules or that play style, but anyone who remembers gathering in some friends basement, with 4 other friends, and playing out a really good campaign knows what I mean. Where you had time to develop a personality and interact with others and also had the fun of defeating mobs and what not. Is this asking for too much? Does such a thing even exist online? I’m not sure.

I’m 25 now and since I live in the city and most of my friends are in the country, I would have a hard time setting something like an AD&D campaign up in real life. Not to mention the fact that I’d be a horrible DM. Especially since I have little to no interest in actually creating a world and npc, I just want to be a part of one. Suggestions? One person suggested Neverwinter Nights to me, another rpg that I know little to nothing about. In the mean time, my quest for role play continues.

Assassin PvP

Was looking through other blogs / listings as i typically do, and came across this pvp movie of an assassin on Nagafen, if you haven’t checked it out, it’s highly entertaining. Not specifically because of the pvp, but the music is just wonderful *grins* check it out and you’ll see what I mean.

On a side note, it appears that Freeport pvp’ers are quite a bit more frequent then Qeynos.. someone mentioned that it may have been the deciding factor in allowing Fae to be “Good only” instead of the neutral class that they had first been proclaimed as. Not that you can’t simply betray one over to Freeport if that’s what you’d rather do.

Pvp servers are wonderful- there is only one small down side. If you join the server late after opening, you’re so far behind everyone that there’s no chance of catching up. Anyone you’ll be fighting will more then likely be someone’s twink, and while that may not be a deterant, it would be for me. The same is true on WoW, if you start on a server later then everyone else, unless you have some close friends who can help you out, you’re going to be left in the dust. In both gear, and pvp kills.

Little bored, little break..

Taking a small break from EQ2, while I piddle around again on WoW, my account’s not cancelled so don’t you all start jumping for joy quite yet, anyone who knows me is aware that every few months I flip flop games for a short time. EQ2 just doesn’t seem to have anything to offer me right now. With no expansion coming until November I’m bored and restless. I’ve got a very small WoW blog that I’ve got linked on the right hand side for anyone who’s craving updates, I’ll post on either or depending on my mood. Though more and more I’ve just simply been doing other things.

Wow what a guild.. and other musings

A huge huge thank you to Ynnasiel from Valorous Union (the little guild I am in with 8 of my alts) for finding this huge treasure for me! This is the one tradeskill book that I have been waiting on forever, that I’ve never seen for sale, that has all of the palladium combines in it. She managed to snag it off of some unfortunate giant in thundering steppes, and let me tell you, Ricotta could not be happier. Well, maybe with some more cheese she could be but still, what an amazing gift. Especially since I know this could potentially sell for at least a plat (not that I’d ever pay that price). It certainly made my night.

Went with Silverstep and raided lyceum trash last night, only had one piece of relic drop, a chain breastplate. Not that I care so much I was hoping for relic leather boots, and unfortunately so are about 6 other leather wearers, so my chances of actually getting them are pretty slim to none. The shoes are the only piece of gear that I’d really like for my warden as she’s wearing mastercrafted at the moment and it looks exceptionally out of place on her.

Played Willamina a little as well, helping Pascolino finish off his access quest for CoD (boo, how come they removed access for every single other zone and left this one there?!) before raids, and Tixha came to visit again! She heard Pascolino talking in the 30’s channel and I said hello to her, she pounced and came to visit us, giving us treats again as always. Unfortunately everyone in VU plays way later then I do, and by the time my raids were over it was well past bed time, from the looks of guild event they headed off to RoV and did the instance in Fallen Gate (cries!) at least everyone seemed to have fun.

Nomadic Gamer